Genius

*Note, this is totally free writing only and not originally intended to be read. The subject came up, so I'm sharing.

Genius

I remember the day I discovered I was “genius.” I went to the library to “clear my head” and came home with a script for Cirque de Soleil. That’s literal, not metaphorical. I mean, I didn’t write the whole thing. It’s not even done and who knows if it ever will be. I just got “it” out on paper and that’s what it came out to be.

Mozart. Mozart. I can’t help but think of Mozart. I guess you could say he’s my favorite composer. Who knows, maybe it’s because there was a movie about him. Maybe it’s because I played a lot of “him” when I took piano lesson. I don’t know. I don’t know if I could even “spot” his music now. Anyway, for whatever reason he’s my favorite.

Anyway, I envision him there in the “end times”, sitting in his bed, writing a symphony. I don’t know. He was mad. Not “angry” mad, “MAD” mad. He was crazy!

Well, I don’t know if he was crazy in the beginning or not. I don’t know. All I know is that I can’t imagine, sitting down, hearing a symphony in your head and writing it out on paper.

It seems I always think of the crazy ones; Mozart, Edgar Allan Poe, I don’t know. I don’t know who they all are, but I know they were crazy. I wonder if they enjoyed life. I wonder if they knew they were crazy. I wonder what life was like for them. I don’t know. I have no idea.

I question. I don’t know. I question. Am I crazy? I don’t know how to tell. I seriously don’t know. Am I even really married? I have no clue.

I mean, that sounds “crazy” (ironically) and scary. I mean, what the hell am I doing? Of course I’m married!

I don’t know. Sometimes I wonder if I live in a fantasy world. If any of it’s real. I can’t even imagine. I don’t know.

*and then I turned my attention to writing a rap song that formed in my head from this writing. Yeah, I know. [head shake]